I wrote a poem to say on the radio today, but I decided to do others instead. This is it though, hope you like it!
She was a woman on a mission,
A career-driven, power hungry gorgon,
1st class honours, Classics Degree,
Doing everything possible to achieve celebrity,
Couldn’t wait to thrust herself into the world,
And sink her fangs into some innocent assistant,
Paralyze an intern or enchant some heroic champion
With her calves of bronze, golden skin
And that divine rear,
She was a near-goddess,
And success was just a cigarette paper away.
Everywhere she went,
Every agency she applied to,
Every tv station, every corporation
Repeated the same line.
They would stare at her feet, avoid her eyes
And tell her she could never be one of their elite,
Because she was no Trisha,
Nowhere near the calibre of Jeremy Kyle,
And certainly not talented enough to even think about Piers Morgan,
The fact was, she was perfect for any reality or chat show,
Medusa was mortified.
She needed to tame her serpent hair,
To warm her cold demeanour, to calm her petrifying stare
If she were to achieve her goals.
But the nature of her features was set deep within her soul.
So this ambitious young woman
Took the advice of those who hadn’t dared to meet her glare,
And became the best damn radio hostess on air.
Men melted at the sound of her voice caressing the airwaves,
The nation besotted, young knaves across the land,
Sought the beauty behind the microphone
In the hope that they may take her hand
Or at least get a quick bone in a club toilet.
Critics likened her to Banksy, Quasimodo, Katie Price,
Always trying to hide her face.
Elusive, slippery, always escaping any chase,
She was an enigma.
And when finally they caught her features on camera,
And the whole world looked deep into the emerald lakes that filled her sockets,
Hearts stopped, lungs froze and skin turned to granite.
Curiosity killed the cat, and half the population,
Because of the media’s fixation on the creation of fame.
Medusa, distraught, she wept,
Because she had a face for radio, some secrets are best kept.